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When I was growing up, doctors were god-like beings who were never questioned. Their word was law. When my father’s doctor told him he was dying in a very callous way and was impatient with Dad's questions, I finally burst out, “Have mercy, you’re telling him he’s dying!” The doctor bridled indignantly and suggested we find another oncologist. I was obliged to apologize to him to get him to agree to continue treating my father.

Today there are many versions of a patient’s bill of rights, and a deeper understanding that the manner in which care is delivered affects the outcome. Even in England, where the lack of choice in socialized medicine undermines the motivation to improve care, there is a government program to help doctors with their bedside manner. There, “The students are taught noddies (to nod), grunting (encouraging verbal grunts) and flashing (where they flash their eyes in a twinkly manner.)”

Because of the traditional role of nurses as patient advocates, bedside manner is one of the areas in which they particularly shine, and can even be superior to care by a physician. They are, by training and inclination, predisposed to listen and respond to a patient's view.

A doctor’s review is an opportunity to see him or herself as others see them. There is a growing body of evidence that lawsuits are filed primarily, not against doctors who have made a mistake, but against doctors who have communicated poorly with their patients or dismissed their concerns. It can be an important service to a physician to have a mirror held up that reflects how they are perceived by their patients.